I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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