2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
4 words: hood of his car
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
