I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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