I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
