PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
