Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
