It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
