Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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