I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Welp...herpes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
