She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this will be a night to untag.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
