i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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