i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
