he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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