Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
