She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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