Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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