okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
