Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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