so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
