If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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