I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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