he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
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may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
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Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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