Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
