at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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