Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
