Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
