Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
