But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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