i think i have herpe
just one?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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