Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
