my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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