he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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