I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
