I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
