also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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