And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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