My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
