just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
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She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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