i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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