So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
