i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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