Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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