I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
BRING THE BAGELS
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize