Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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