Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it hurts more in the daytime
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
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He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
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My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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