I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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