yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
