I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
