Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
