You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
