I must be too annoying 4 u.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
