franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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