Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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