if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
