I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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