ya dads aren't the best wingmen
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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