your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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