I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize